GKGW - Graduation Service Message

Psalm 127 : 3 says that children are “a heritage and a reward from the Lord” and in Deuteronomy Chapter 6 parents are reminded that it is their responsibility to make their faith an integral part of their family life. Parents are encouraged to love God with all their heart, soul and strength and impress God’s commandments on your children. “Talk with them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” . In other words, informally in the everyday living of your life, demonstrate in words and attitudes and actions that God is in control of your life, that He is the creator, that He is the provider, that He is the sustainer of your life and relationships i.e. parental education is NOT information-oriented but relationship-oriented and life-oriented!

PARENTING IN THE 2000’s

I want to speak today to parents of all kinds.

The Family was instituted by God and in Genesis 1:27 The Bible says that after God created Adam and Eve and then He blessed them and said to them amongst other things - “Be fruitful and multiply”

And so parenting was approved by God. Children are special to him and he entrusts them to fallible human beings!

The Word of God tells many stories about both the influence of parents on children. I want to remind you this morning of a few examples of parenting which are recorded in The Bible for our instruction.

1. HOW NOT TO DO IT

* ISAAC & REBEKAH ( Gen. 27 )
with sons, Esau & Jacob
Deception & Lies, Favouritism

* JACOB & RACHEL ( Gen. 37 esp. vs 3&4 )
with son, Joseph
Favouritism ( sibling rivalry )

* ELI - The Priest ( 1 Sam. 2:12 & 22-25a )
with sons, Hophni & Phineas
Lack of Discipline -immorality

* DAVID ( 2 Sam. esp. Ch.13 )
& his children
No boundaries or limits set
cf. own adultery, incest, rebellion, murder

2. HOW TO DO IT

* THE PARABLE OF THE LOST SON ( Luke 15 :11-31 ) - told by Jesus
It could just have easily been called the “PARABLE OF THE COMPASSIONATE FATHER”

vs. 11 - two sons
children are different

• This is a profound truth.
• Recognising that your children are different by design may help you to avoid may of the pitfalls of favouritism.
• Are you communicating love to your child in a language that he understands?

vs, 12 - the father listened to his son and was willing “to let go”. Children need parents to listen and after teaching and modelling the right values, to allow them to take risks and, if they make mistakes, to be there when they come to their senses.

vs 20 The father continued to love his son even though he was “in a far country” children need parents to love them even when they do the wrong thing.

• When they betray your trust
• When they break your possessions or waste your money.

vs 21ff The father allowed expression of opinions & feelings and was ready and willing to forgive his children need parents to respect how they think & feel and to distinguish between them and their behaviour so that they can forgive the child without condoning sinful behaviour

vs 20,22 & 31 The father affirmed his children in words & deeds children need parents to express their love as well as show affection.

• Father’s (& mothers) – do you express your love verbally to your wife and your children? Do you take the time to hug and kiss your children? Do your children trust you enough to let you into their private world?
• Remember, its not about quality and quantity of time – the real issue for fathers is “Do my children trust me?”

vs. 28ff The father was prepared to take the initiative (esp. with his elder son) children need parents to make the first move when relationships have turned sour.

• Look at the way the father listened to his son. He “came out” to plead with him.
• He didn’t rebuke the elder son for his selfishness. He affirmed him, he reassured him. He then helped him to see the preciousness of his brother, and the miracle of his return.

N.B. The story of the prodigal son is not just the story of an earthly father treats his children but the story of how our Heavenly Father treats us - his prodigal children!

1. He is an active listener to our requests ( even unreasonable ones )
2. He always responds and allows us the freedom to make mistakes . He never seeks to control us and make us do what He wants but has a given us a free will
3. Even when we make mistakes, He loves us just the same and He never gives up on us.
4. “Love always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres…” 1Cor13 I looked up the word “always” in the dictionary…it means “always”.
5. He allows us to learn from the mistakes we make and is always ready and willing to forgive us when we come to our senses and repent of our wilful and sinful ways.
6. He affirms our worth and value and made each of us in His image.
7. He permits us to own and express our thoughts and feelings to Him without judgment or condemnation.
8. He hates sin but loves the sinner.
9. He loves us unconditionally and He took the initiative in expressing His love in action by sending His Son, Jesus Christ, to be our Saviour and Redeemer.

This is how God parents us and nurtures us . What a gracious, tender, loving and forgiving parent He is. He invites you and me today, with the enabling of His Holy Spirit, to treat our children, grandchildren and one another the way He treats us.

It’s my prayer that, in future, as you reflect on the parable of the prodigal son, you will not miss the picture of the love of God for His lost children and will see His arms outstretched and running towards you, ready to embrace you and welcome you or any other person who repents and returns home.

It is also my prayer for GKGW graduates especially, that you remember the Heart of Grace in our Heavenly Father and realise that God is more interested in shaping our hearts than in making us conform to a strict set of rules or standard of behaviour.

Are you parenting for your own comfort, or are you seeking to impart something of the values and heart of God into the hearts of your children? Are you doing this in order that they too might share in His compassion for His children – whether they be lost or found!!!

As Gary Ezzo says, our mission is “to define God the the world so that the world might find God”.